REFLECTIONS

A Note on the Journey

My work over the past seasons has been deeply shaped by the writings of Bernadette Roberts. Her articulation of the interior journey gave language to experiences I trusted but could not yet name. For that, I remain profoundly grateful.

What is unfolding now is a pivot from that year with her. The blog will still be reflective in nature, but focused on different material. Something lived more explicitly in the body, in relationships, and in the ordinary moments where patterns reveal themselves and something new becomes possible.

I find myself at a threshold. There is energy here, curiosity, creativity, a sense of alignment, and also a necessary unknowing. Rather than certainty, what feels most faithful is attention.

In this season, my writing and work are pivoting toward presence as a lived reality, often through the lens of the Enneagram, not as a system to master, but as a doorway into embodiment, awareness, and honest engagement with life as it is.

This space will continue to reflect on the inner journey, but with a growing emphasis on how that journey shows up in real time: in the body, in conflict, in growth, and in the courage it takes to stay present when old strategies no longer serve.

If you are sensing a threshold of your own, you are welcome here.

God in Nature - Paragraphs 13 and 14
Kim de Beus Kim de Beus

God in Nature - Paragraphs 13 and 14

In her writings on Omnipresence, Roberts invites us beyond “God within” toward the deeper mystery that all things exist in God. What if there is only one thing happening, one divine life expressing itself through everything, including us? In this reflection, I explore Roberts’ luminous insight alongside Mary Oliver’s reminder that prayer begins in the ordinary, where every breath, stone, and silence becomes a doorway into the divine.

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The Unfinished Self: Embrace Your Lifelong Project
Kim de Beus Kim de Beus

The Unfinished Self: Embrace Your Lifelong Project

Have you ever noticed how our world encourages constant acquiring, equating “more” with “better”? This belief shapes how we approach personal transformation as we often think it’s about gaining something new.

In reality, transformation is about letting go and discovering what is already within us. Rather than accumulating, transformation is the process of moving from doing to being, of uncovering our true nature.

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God in Nature - Paragraphs 11 and 12
Kim de Beus Kim de Beus

God in Nature - Paragraphs 11 and 12

Yes, for today it is enough to just be with what is arising in my experience, whether that be grief, sadness, joy or delight. The journey is to be awake to it all and what a delight that we are granted such a gift. Today I am grateful for the opportunity to experience life fully. I do believe that is what Jesus meant by an abundant life. 

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God in Nature - Paragraphs 9 and 10
Kim de Beus Kim de Beus

God in Nature - Paragraphs 9 and 10

What this text invites me into is a continued journey towards clarity. For those of you who know the Enneagram you know that the Enneagram Nine can be diffuse and even foggy, not only in their thinking but in their expression of life. As a Nine, this is true for me, and I have practiced bringing more presence, thus more clarity, to conversations, events, and life so that I can actually discern what is happening and respond appropriately. It is a process, like learning a whole new skill set, but one that is very exciting when I remember to do it. 

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God in Nature - Paragraph 8
Kim de Beus Kim de Beus

God in Nature - Paragraph 8

The impact and invitation this has for me is to continue, like the Stoics, to practice releasing those passions, distractions, and thought patterns that cloud the center. Those mechanical, and dare I say even maniacal, ways of being that grab all my attention away from the center. These attention grabbers need to be seen through and dealt with. Some of these attention grabbers are easy to let go of while others are very difficult, so ingrained our habitual patterns are. For these tougher cases therapy, spiritual direction, or some help, care and compassion of another is needed in order for us to face and breathe through the release. 

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Kim de Beus Kim de Beus

God in Nature - Paragraph 7

This concept of the “eternally nameless” aligns with much of what Roberts has previously described concerning God and also echoes what the Christian mystics describe in their experience of Omnipresence. That alignment includes the notion that God (Tao) is not a thing but a what, something fundamental to the underpinnings of what we call life and the universe. I’ve heard it explained that similarities between all the great mystical faith traditions are like the spokes of a wheel. The farther out you are from the center the more differentiation you notice, both in practice and doctrine, but as you travel down the spokes towards the center you end up in much the same place. You end up with Love extending out in all directions. 

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God in Nature - Paragraphs 5 and 6
Kim de Beus Kim de Beus

God in Nature - Paragraphs 5 and 6

I’m in absolute agreement that people see It all the time. As she says, the simplicity of it seems so innate that we take for granted that which is a great seeing. I honestly believe that most everyone have had moments of transfixed seeing; the beauty of the sky speaking to you, the calming tranquility of the sea’s presence, a baby’s innocence melting your heart, morning bird song preparing you for the day. We know in those moments something revelatory is occurring even though we can’t say exactly what is occurring.

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God in Nature - Paragraph 1
Kim de Beus Kim de Beus

God in Nature - Paragraph 1

The invitation this text extends to me is the importance and exploration of “wow” moments. This exploration does not mean grasping for such moments or even an expectation that they occur, but instead an invitation to cultivate a slow and steady stance towards receptivity. What does it mean to be in nature and be open? I’m I attuned to the weather, season, or plant life near me? Why am I rushing by what is around me on my way to something else believing that something else is what holds the key to some imagined future happening? The Dalai Lama said “ rushing is a form of violence.” I agree, if you pay attention to rushing you will feel the energetic signature of violence, the pushing, the overbearing, the dismissing. 

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Foundation of all Revelations - Paragraphs 4 and 5
Kim de Beus Kim de Beus

Foundation of all Revelations - Paragraphs 4 and 5

I honestly believe that everyone has encountered this simple definition of knowing and two examples spring to mind. The first example is the experience of the sunset. You were not expecting it, but there you are, rapt, and for a few moments you are one with the sunset. You have dropped your stories, your worries, and you are just there. This “thereness” is what Roberts means by knowing. You are not sure what you are knowing, except to say it is lovely. The other example that comes to mind is witnessing a birth. There is something extraordinary about new life and all the innocence and vulnerability it bears on you. Again, for a few moments you are moved beyond words, and there really is no expression of what you are experiencing, except to say that your heart is full beyond measure.

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Foundations of all Revelations - Paragraphs 2 and 3
Kim de Beus Kim de Beus

Foundations of all Revelations - Paragraphs 2 and 3

These paragraphs feel like a wild ride indeed and her experience of people either getting it, this idea of a knowing beyond our intellect, or not getting it is a true statement. For some people, Roberts’ words may seem no more than an unsolvable riddle and for others, who may be interested in such riddles, the obtuseness of a knowing that knows is difficult to apprehend. Frankly, in sitting with these words I am wondering what I could write or add to what she has already said that would make any sense at all.

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Foundations of all Revelations - Paragraph 1
Kim de Beus Kim de Beus

Foundations of all Revelations - Paragraph 1

So what am I understanding her to be saying? There are a couple of things that come to mind. First, we can not insist, grasp, or intellectualize our way to this This. The second is implied, but given there are many mystics, masters, and teachers who write about revelatory things from a place of certainty than there must be a path we can traverse in order to come in contact with such “knowing.” Such a path seems to open us to both a new way of “knowing” and the “knowing” itself; the This. There are, of course, many paths and practices, but as Jim Finley says, “once you find your path, practice it.”  A.H. Almaas would say “worship it.”

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